I Am Afraid
by poprika
Summary: Oneshot. Rei had an abusive father, now he's back to become Rei's guardian again. All of the imformation against him is lost,and Rei has to go back. His friends are happy for him, but they know nothing of his pain. KaixRei


Taiy-Chan: Yes! This is my first song-fic, but because of the new rule (which I think is kinda unfair) I have to delete the part with the song.. Anyways, 

It's a one shot, but it also gives you a glimpse in what my new story will be about. After I'm done Never Forget, and halfway through Beyblade F Fusion, I'm going to be putting up a Rei story, Because Of You. This story would've been called that, but I wanted to save that title for the longer one. Rei might be a little OOC in this, but how would you act if your abusive father has been announced your guardian again? So, anyways, here's I Am Afraid!

Summary: Rei's abusive father has come back. Before, Rei's dad couldn't talk to, or even see Rei. But now, all of the information against his father is gone and he is back to take is son. Rei's friends are happy for him, but they don't know that he's breaking inside. KaixRei

Disclaimer: Taiy-Chan doesn't own Beyblade or the song Because Of You, by Kelly Clarkson, which is what this story is made after.

"Bla Bla." -Talking

_"Bla Bla"-_ Thoughts

_Febuary 12 -Re-edited_

* * *

**I Am Afraid

* * *

"There's going to be a storm." Rei whispered as he looked out the window at the darkening sky. He leant his head against the cool glass and sighed.**

It was mid afternoon and the Bladebreakers were lounging around at Tyson's house. It had been a busy day for all of them. Tyson's grandfather had been sent to the hospital, diagnosed with cancer and Rei's dad had come to take back his son. The team was happy for the neko-jin. Now, Rei would have a family again.

But Rei didn't want a family. He didn't want to go live with his father.

His thoughts wandered back to earlier that day as he looked up at the stars.

* * *

_"That's awesome Rei! You finally have a family to go home to!" Max said, smiling as he patted Rei on the back. Rei didn't answer; he just stood there, eyes downcast._

_"He must still be in shock." Hilary giggled, looking fondly at the Chinese. _

_"And he should be!" Kenny cried. "Just think of how it would feel if your dad that you haven't seen for four years had come back! He must be so happy." The brunette gushed. _

No, you're wrong._ Rei thought. _My whole life might as well have ended.

_Tyson came over to them and turned his lips up in a lopsided grin for the first time since his grandfather went to the hospital._

_"I'm happy for you, bud." he said. Rei looked up and tried to offer his friend a small smile. How couldn't he? Tyson had put his own problems aside, once again, to be there for his friends. _

_"Yeah..." Rei said; his smile strained. "I guess...I'm happy." _

Liar.

_And Rei knew it. He was lying through his teeth. He was far from being happy. How could he be happy when his world had just come crashing down?_

_His smile had not reached his eyes, the golden pools were empty, their usual light gone. But only Kai noticed this. He knew that look. It was the look of someone who had just lost everything.

* * *

_

"Hey, Rei!" Rei was brought back to the present by the loud voice. Blinking, he turned to look at his friends, who were sitting on the couch. He got up from his seat by the windowsill and strode towards them.

"Yeah?" he asked, his cheery voice hiding the sadness inside of him. He cocked his head to the side, his lips quirked in a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Just think," Tyson said. "Tomorrow you'll be with your dad again." Rei fought the urge to wince.

_Yeah, joy._

"You must be so happy." Hilary sighed dreamily. Rei felt vicious anger flash through him.

''_I'm must be so happy'?' he thought darkly. 'Does it _look_ like I'm happy? Does it look like I want to jump for joy? Are you really that blind?_

"So, will you come and visit us?" Kenny asked hopefully, setting his laptop carefully on his lap.

'_I will if I can...If I can even walk...' _Rei mentally sighed.

"Oh course." Rei said and though he had wanted his voice to come out cheerful and confident, the word came out shaky and quiet.

His friends must have noticed this, for they turned to face him fully, confusion written clearly in their eyes. Tyson frowned.

"What's wrong?" he questioned. Rei just shook his head. He had to be careful; he could feel Tyson's patience with him fading fast.

"I'm just..." Rei trailed off as if searching for the right words. Tyson jumped from his seat on the couch, his body tense with anger, his fists clenched, blunt nails digging into skin.

"What is your problem!" he demanded, taking a step towards Rei, who couldn't help but flinch. Everyone grew quiet.

"Tyson, sit down." Kai snapped, his voice cool as he glared at the blue haired boy from his seat. Tyson whipped around to face their captain.

"Shut up! This isn't about you!" he shouted. He turned back to Rei. "What's your problem!" he asked again. "Here I am, my grandfather in the hospital, being all happy for you. And what are you doing? Moping around the house as if the world's coming to an end!"

Rei breathed deeply, if he lost it, everything would go downhill from here. He knew it wasn't Tyson's fault, the boy had been under serious stress for the last twelve hours and Rei was just making it worse.

"You act like you don't even want to go back to your family!" Tyson said when Rei didn't answer him.

Rei's eyes flashed and his pupils slitted.

"Oh, you _just_ noticed that?" Rei spat, his control gone. "Did it ever even occur to you that I might not _want_ my dad back?" His so called friends were silent. Rei continued, letting all of his anger, and frustration out. "Did you even wonder why I haven't seen him for four years? Huh! Did you?" His golden eyes ran over the faces of his team. When no one said anything in response, the black haired boy sneered. "No, you didn't! You all were too caught up with your own problems to think of me for once!" his voice was raising with each word.

Tyson glared hard at Rei.

"We were all too caught up in our own problems, you say? Well guess what? Right now, my problem is bigger than yours. You don't know what pain I'm going through! My grandfather might _die_!" Tyson snapped, angry tears welling in his eyes.

"You don't know what pain is, Tyson!" Rei practically spat out his name.

"Oh, and you do?" The other Bladebreakers watched in a shocked silence, knowing that they could do nothing to stop this fight.

"Yes, I do! But you wouldn't understand if I told you!" Rei knew he was crying, he felt the hot tears run down his face. He knew he was acting like a child, he knew he was being weak; he knew that he might even be acting selfish, but he didn't care anymore. Nothing mattered. His whole life that he had worked so hard to rebuild was gone.

Tyson bit his lip, struggling not to lash out again. He couldn't let all the stress get to him.

"If… If you can't trust us enough to tell us what's wrong, then you have no right to accuse us of anything." The World Champion whispered.

Rei snapped his mouth shut with a loud click. His golden eyes widened and he looked down. What was he supposed to say to that? Tyson was right and the truth hurt like hell.

"I… I just can't."

He didn't want to see their reaction, the disgust written on their faces as they turned away and didn't look back. He didn't want to be pitied and treated like a child… He didn't want to go through that again.

So Rei did the only thing he could do, he turned and fled.

The Bladebreakers heard the dojo's door slam and they sat in an uncomfortable silence. Tyson flopped back onto the couch, his face in his hands.

"I don't know what's wrong..." he said brokenly. "Why won't he just tell us?"

"We're missing something here." Max muttered.

Kai stood up and walked over to the door.

"People go through things in life that they didn't do anything to deserve. Those people hide behind a mask that they never want to take off, for it would mean re-living their past once again." The crimson eyed blader said. He paused as he reached for the door, his hand resting on the metal handle. "You never know…" he mused. "Sometimes the luckiest person could really be a broken soul underneath." He didn't look back as he followed Rei out into the night.

Kenny watched him go and turned to the others, his eyes wide and hopeful.

"They'll be back. We'll figure this out." he said quietly.

* * *

Kai found Rei at the bridge near the beach. He was leaning on the railing, his dark bangs covering his eyes, but Kai knew he was crying by the way his shoulders shook and how he held himself as if hiding from something that only he could see.

Kai walked over to him and stood beside the neko-jin, resting back against the metal bar behind him, waiting for the other to speak.

"There's going to be a storm." Rei whispered, barely audible. Kai looked at the dark sky and nodded. He was right.

Rei knew he had acted foolishly back at Tyson's, but what was he going to do about it? He… didn't know much anymore. The dark haired boy took a deep breath.

"When I was six-"

"You don't have to tell me." Rei turned and stared at Kai with wide eyes. Kai met his gaze and held it. "I won't ask you to tell me why you don't want to go back to your father..." Kai trailed off when Rei shook his head.

"You're the only one that would understand." he whispered. Kai stayed silent. Rei took a deep breath and begun. "When I was six, my mother died of a terrible sickness. My father and I were devastated, I was so young back then...I couldn't understand why mommy would wake up.

"My dad and I grew closer, having gone through the same pain...But...when I was seven, a year later, he started..." Rei swallowed. Kai started to speak, to tell him it was okay, he didn't have to say anymore, but Rei continued. "He started to beat me. He used to say that it was my fault, that mom died...And I started to believe it."

"He used to beat me almost twice a week, but no one ever noticed it. Because I'm a neko-jin, but the next morning, most of the wounds would be gone..." Rei looked down at his hands.

"If I wasn't a half demon, you wouldn't be able to recognize me...I'd have...so many scars..." Rei choked back a sob, he can't cry anymore!

Kai moved to comfort him, but Rei shielded away from him and quickly started the story again.

"After...a couple of years...When I was eleven...he came back from the bar...He was drunk..." Rei spoke slowly, remembering his past. "He...didn't know what he was doing...at least that's what I wanted to think...He kept...he kept..." Rei choked on the last word, covering his face with his hands.

"Rei..." Kai whispered.

_I went through the same thing..._

"You don't have to continue..."

"It hurt...More than anything..." Rei kept on going, as if he didn't hear him. "I cried, I cried so much that I...I wanted to believe that he was just drunk, he didn't know what he was doing...But it happened...again...and again...And I wasn't strong enough to stop him. He was a full demon, I was not... I was weak." Rei spat out the last word.

"No." Kai said. "You are not weak. You went through the same thing as I did, and yet, after, you were still able to continue with your life." Rei looked at Kai for a long moment.

"I'm not as strong as you, Kai..." he muttered. He continued, louder this time. "Once day, I had a chance...He was unconscious on his bed, I could've killed him right then and there...But...I couldn't...I loved him...Even after all he did to me...I couldn't kill him...He was my dad! My only family left..." Rei took a deep breath. "It all ended when he beat me so badly that the neighbors found me unconscious, nearly bleeding to death the next day." Rei turned to face Kai as he finished his story.

Kai closed the little distance in between them and held Rei in his arms.

"How do you feel about your father now? Would you be able to kill him?" he asked, his voice muffled by Rei's black hair. "What do you feel now that he is back? Are you angry? Are you frustrated? "

The answer was quiet, Kai was barely able to hear it, it made his insides clench and he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

"I am afraid."

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Taiy-Chan: There you have it! I hope you like. This is what the Rei story will be about, just a sneak peek kinda thing. Please R&R and tell me what you think! 


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